Surrounded by Yes-People
For leaders, coaches and anyone who has noticed that everyone around them seems to agree with them.
You may be surrounded by yes-people if no one disagrees with you, bad news reaches you late, meetings end with fast agreement and you rarely hear anything that surprises you. Yes-people are usually not the problem. They are a sign that disagreeing with you feels risky. To fix it, ask for dissent directly, reward the first person who pushes back and find ways to hear what people say when you are not in the room.
I have interviewed and promoted many people for leadership roles, and I enjoy those interviews. But the interview doesn’t win the promotion. The last year does.
Before I decide, I ask the team, without saying who applied, who they think the next leader should be and who helps make the team better.
In one promotion round, the team named someone newer to the organization. She was promoted.
A peer who has the team’s trust and is already seen as a leader they want to work for is the best evaluation you can get.
Groups that value agreement over honesty make worse decisions. Psychologist Irving Janis called this groupthink: when the desire for harmony leads people to hold back concerns, and bad ideas go unchallenged.
If everyone agrees with you, someone is not telling you something.
Six ways to stop hearing only yes
Ask for disagreement directly
“What are we missing?” and “What would make this fail?” invite the concerns people would otherwise keep to themselves.
Reward the first person who pushes back
How you react to the first honest comment decides whether there will be a second. Thank them publicly.
Speak last
When the leader speaks first, everyone else adjusts. Let others share before you do.
Ask privately
Many people will not disagree in a group but will tell you the truth in a private conversation. Ask, and protect who said it.
Hire and promote people who challenge you
Look for people who will respectfully tell you when you are wrong. They are worth more than people who make you feel right.
Check yourself
If people stop disagreeing, look at how you react when they do. Defensiveness trains people to stay quiet.
If everyone agrees with you,
someone is not telling you something.
Signs you are surrounded by yes-people
- 1. No one has disagreed with you in weeks
- 2. You hear about problems after they have become big
- 3. Meetings end quickly with everyone in agreement
- 4. People repeat your ideas back to you
- 5. Feedback is always vague and positive
- 6. You are often the last to know what people really think
Related reading: How to Find People Who Tell You What You Need to Hear, Honest Answers From Your Team and Fear of Conflict.
Common questions
What are the signs of being surrounded by yes-men?
No one disagrees with you, bad news arrives late, meetings end with quick agreement and feedback is vague and always positive.
Why do people only tell leaders what they want to hear?
Usually because disagreeing feels risky. If honesty has been met with defensiveness or consequences, people learn to stay quiet.
How do I get my team to disagree with me?
Ask for concerns directly, speak last, reward the first person who pushes back and give people private ways to share.
What is groupthink?
Groupthink, a term from psychologist Irving Janis, is when a group’s desire for harmony leads members to hold back concerns, resulting in poor decisions.
Ask for disagreement, reward the first person who pushes back, speak last and ask privately. Honesty grows where it is safe.
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