Free worksheet on getting honest feedback.
A one page worksheet for anyone who suspects the people around them have stopped telling them the truth. Four questions, one action, and room to write. For asking on purpose rather than waiting to be told.
Seek Truth.
Not Praise.
The right people sharpen you rather than flatter you
- The idea, written plainly
- Why this is not about criticism
- Where validation creeps in
- Four questions with room to write
- One action for this week
- Space for who will hold you to it
Nobody chooses an echo chamber.
It happens gradually. You share an idea and somebody pushes on it, and it is uncomfortable. You share it with somebody else and they say it sounds great, and that feels better. Over time you find yourself going to the second person first.
The people who would tell you the truth are usually still there. They have just noticed you stopped asking.
This worksheet is about asking on purpose. It takes about fifteen minutes and it works on its own. You do not need to have read anything first.
What you want or what you need.
Validation
Sounds like agreement. Protects your feelings, avoids the uncomfortable conversation, and leaves everything exactly where it was.
Truth
Asks harder questions and points at blind spots. It stings, usually because it is showing you something you could not see on your own.
Surround yourself with people who tell you what you need to hear rather than what you want to hear. That is the whole thing, and most people get it backwards without ever deciding to.
It works both ways. If you want people who will say the hard thing, you have to be someone it is safe to say hard things to. That part is decided by how you react the first time somebody tries.
The four questions.
- Who in your life tells you what you need to hear rather than what you want to hear?
- Where might you be choosing validation over feedback that would help you grow?
- What is a blind spot someone once named for you that you did not want to hear?
- Is there feedback you have been avoiding because it might be true?
The third question is the one most people can answer instantly and have never acted on. Somebody named it once, years ago, you did not want to hear it, and you have not tested it since.
Then the worksheet asks you to go and ask one person something you have been hesitant to ask, and to write down what you heard before responding to any of it.
Use it on your own or with a team.
If everyone agrees with you
That is not usually a sign you are right. Worth checking whether people have simply learned that disagreeing is not worth it.
If you get defensive
Everyone does, and it is worst when your intention was good. This helps you separate the reaction from the decision.
If you lead people
Whether the hard thing gets said in the meeting or in the parking lot afterwards is decided entirely by you.
For coaches and teachers
Free to copy and print for a class, a team, or a group. No permission needed and no attribution required.
You can protect your ego, or you can improve your performance. You do not get both.
Where to go next.
Seek Truth. Not Praise.
The full idea behind the worksheet, including the feedback I did not want to hear and why the first reaction is always resistance.
Read It →How to Get Honest Feedback
The article on asking for it properly, and how to actually hear it once somebody gives it to you.
Read It →The Team Playbook
Module five is Truth Over Praise. A free session to run this with the people you lead, at work or in sport.
Run It →All the Free Tools
Worksheets, frameworks, assessments, and printables. All on the page, nothing to sign up for.
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When I’ve got something worth sending.
Just a story or an idea I picked up that I think will help you.
Sometimes that’s twice in a month. Sometimes it’s not for a while.