The Best Books on
Confidence

The best books on confidence are The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris, Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden, You Are Capable of More by me, The Confidence Code by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman, Daring Greatly by Brené Brown, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers, and The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women by Valerie Young. If you only read one, read Harris, because he explains why waiting to feel confident before you act almost always keeps you waiting.

What these books get right about confidence

Most of us were taught, without anyone quite saying it, that confident people are born that way, that they walk into rooms already sure of themselves, and that the rest of us should hold back until that feeling finally arrives. The best books on this list gently disagree. They describe confidence as something that grows out of small actions taken while you still feel unsure, out of being kinder to yourself when things go wrong, and out of slowly learning to believe in yourself because you have watched yourself follow through.

If confidence is a struggle for you, you are in very good company. In the survey behind my book, 85 percent of working adults said they second-guess themselves because of their inner voice, and 92 percent said they were capable of more than they were currently doing. Those two numbers sit side by side in a lot of good people, and the books below are about closing the distance between them.

One gentle note before the list. Books can help a great deal, but if low mood or anxiety has stayed with you for weeks, or is making ordinary days hard, please consider talking to a doctor or counselor. That is a strong and sensible step, not a failure, and our page on where to go for help is a good place to start.

One

The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris (2011)

Harris is a doctor and therapist who teaches acceptance and commitment therapy, and his kind, simple message is that the actions of confidence come first and the feelings of confidence come later, so you can stop arguing with your fear and start moving alongside it. It is the best fit for overthinkers and for anyone who has been waiting years to feel ready. Where it falls short is style, since it reads at times like a workbook and some of the exercises will feel slow if you want quick encouragement.

Two

Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff (2011)

Neff is a researcher who helped define self-compassion, and her book makes a gentle case that treating yourself the way you would treat a struggling friend builds steadier confidence than constantly pumping yourself up. It is for the person whose inner critic is loud and who quietly believes being hard on themselves is what keeps them going. Some readers find the meditation-based parts softer than they expected, but the core idea is one of the most freeing on this list.

Three

The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden (1994)

This is the classic of the group, built around six practices, which Branden names as living consciously, self-acceptance, self-responsibility, self-assertiveness, living purposefully and personal integrity, and its lasting point is that self-esteem is earned through how you live rather than handed to you through praise. It is for the patient reader who wants depth more than quick tips. It is long and a little dense, and parts of it feel dated now, so it rewards slow reading more than a quick weekend.

Five

The Confidence Code by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman (2014)

Kay and Shipman are journalists who set out to understand why so many capable women they knew still doubted themselves, and their warm, readable answer is that confidence turns thought into action and that overthinking quietly drains it. It is best for women navigating work and leadership, though its main lesson travels well to anyone. The science sections are lighter than the title suggests, so read it for the stories and the encouragement rather than as a research guide.

Six

Daring Greatly by Brené Brown (2012)

Brown’s research on shame and vulnerability led her to a hopeful conclusion, which is that real confidence comes from being willing to be seen, imperfect and trying, rather than from hiding until you have everything figured out. It is the right book for someone whose fear of looking foolish keeps them small. Some readers find it repetitive, and it is more about courage and connection than about confidence at work, but its central idea stays with you.

Seven

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers (1987)

This is the older, plain-spoken classic, and its message is right there in the title: fear does not go away before you act, so the goal is to grow more comfortable acting while it is still there. It is a good fit for readers who want something short, direct and encouraging. Its age shows in places, and some readers will find the affirmations and positive-thinking exercises a little dated next to the newer books on this list.

Eight

The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women by Valerie Young (2011)

Young has spent years teaching about impostor syndrome, and this is a gentle, practical book for capable people who feel like frauds and fear being found out, with clear ways to reframe failure, praise and competence. Despite the title, much of it is useful to anyone who has felt this way, and it pairs well with our guide to imposter syndrome at work. It leans on stories more than research, so treat it as encouragement and practical advice rather than science.

Which one to pick

If you want one, read The Confidence Gap, and if your inner critic is especially loud, read Self-Compassion alongside it. Between them you will learn to take the next step while still feeling unsure and to speak to yourself kindly when it does not go perfectly, which together is most of what confidence really is. For a practical place to begin today, our guide on how to build self-confidence walks through the first steps.

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