How to Find Your Purpose
For anyone who has quietly wondered what they are really here for, and whether the work they do each day adds up to something that matters.
To find your purpose, look first at the people who are better off because of you, the moments when you felt most useful, and what others come to you for. Purpose is rarely discovered in one flash of insight; it grows clearer as you take small, steady actions that leave people better than you found them. You can usually begin right where you are, in the job and the life you already have.
When people ask me how to find their purpose, I can usually hear a little worry underneath the question, as if purpose were a single hidden answer that everyone else has already found and they have somehow missed. I do not think it works that way for most of us. In my experience, purpose is less like a treasure you stumble on and more like a path that becomes visible as you walk it, one small step and one helped person at a time.
I did not find mine by sitting down and thinking hard about it. I found it in a short conversation I was not expecting, at an event where I was mostly just trying to make sure everyone was having a good time. I share it here because I think it shows how purpose tends to arrive: quietly, through other people, and usually when we are paying attention to someone besides ourselves.
Years ago, at a company party, the spouse of one of our employees came up to me. She told me that her husband was a better person because he worked with us.
I have thought about that sentence many times since. It was not about revenue or titles or anything we had achieved. It was about who someone had become. That night it became my mission to help people become the best version of themselves, and it is still the reason I do almost everything I do, including writing my book.
Your purpose is often hiding in plain sight, in the people who are a little better off because you showed up.
Six steps to find your purpose
Look at who you help
Before you ask what you want to do with your life, it can help to ask a gentler question: who is better off because of me? It might be a coworker you trained, a friend who calls you first when things go wrong, or a child who learned something from watching you. Purpose usually shows up in other people long before it shows up in a job title, and noticing it there is often the very first step.
Remember the moments that stayed with you
Think back over the last few years and write down the times you felt most useful and most like yourself, the moments you still think about long after they happened. They do not have to be big. Once you have a handful, look at them side by side and notice what they have in common, because the thread that runs through them is very often a clue to what matters most to you.
Ask the people around you
We are often the last to see our own gifts clearly. When I promote leaders, I ask the team who they see as the next leader, because the interview was last year, and the people working alongside someone every day know far more than any interview can show. The same is true for you. Ask a few people who know you well what they come to you for, and listen carefully to the answer, because it may describe something you have been doing naturally all along.
Start where you already are
It is easy to assume that finding your purpose means quitting your job or changing your whole life, and sometimes it does, but far more often it begins right where you are. Almost every role touches people, whether they are coworkers, customers or the families behind them, and choosing to leave those people a little better each day can give real meaning to work you might have thought of as ordinary. That idea is at the heart of the Leave People Better principle in my book.
Try something small
You do not need to be certain about your purpose before you act on it. In fact, certainty usually comes after the action, not before. Pick one small way to help one person this week, then pay attention to how it feels afterward and whether you want to do more of it. Small experiments like that will teach you more about yourself than months of wondering.
Let it grow over time
Purpose is not a single answer you have to find before your real life can begin. It deepens and shifts as you grow, the way mine has, and it becomes clearer each time you act on what matters to you. If you would like a deeper look at what that can mean for you, I wrote about it in You Are Capable of More: What It Means.
Purpose is less about
what you achieve and
more about who you help.
Finding meaning in your work
Many people come looking for their purpose after reaching a goal they worked hard for and finding that it did not feel the way they expected. If that sounds familiar, you are in good company, and I wrote about it in Why Does Success Feel Empty? What I have noticed, again and again, is that the people who find lasting meaning at work tend to measure their days less by what they accomplished and more by who they helped along the way, which is the difference between success and significance. I once watched a woman in our credentialing department, who was sure she would not be good at sales, become one of our top performers once she had some support, and helping her see what she was capable of meant more to me than almost any number on a report. And if the search for meaning ever starts to feel heavy, or that empty feeling lingers for a long stretch, please be gentle with yourself and consider talking with a doctor or counselor. There is no weakness in asking for that kind of help.
Common questions
How do I find my purpose in life?
Start by noticing who is better off because of you and the moments you felt most useful, then ask people who know you what they come to you for. Purpose tends to become clear through small actions that help other people, rather than through a single moment of discovery.
What if I do not know what my purpose is?
That is very common, and it does not mean you lack one. Most people find their purpose gradually, by acting on small things that matter to them and paying attention to what stays with them afterward. How to Figure Out What Actually Matters is a good place to start.
How can I find meaning in my work?
Look at the people your work touches, including coworkers, customers and the families behind them. Choosing to leave those people a little better each day can give meaning to almost any job, even before you decide whether it is the right job for you long term.
Do I need to change careers to find my purpose?
Not necessarily. Many people find purpose in the role they already have once they start focusing on the people they help. If a change does turn out to be right, the clarity usually comes from acting where you are first.
Look at who is better off because of you, ask the people who know you what they see, and take one small action this week that leaves someone better. Purpose grows clearer every time you act on it.
You Are Capable
of More.
Ten principles for becoming the person you know you are capable of being, built from real stories of people who doubted themselves and did it anyway. Winner of the How-To category at the 2026 Paris Book Festival.
When I’ve got something worth sending.
Just a story or an idea I picked up that I think will help you.
Sometimes that’s twice in a month. Sometimes it’s not for a while.