Do Positive Affirmations Work?
For anyone who has repeated “I am confident” in the mirror and felt nothing change.
Positive affirmations work for some people and backfire for others. Research suggests that repeating statements you do not believe, such as “I am a lovable person,” can make people with low self-esteem feel worse, because the gap between the words and their reality feels bigger. What tends to work better is replacing negative thoughts with believable ones, reminding yourself of what you value and then taking action that proves the new thought true.
As a young adult raising my oldest son, I filled out job application after job application. They always reached the same two questions.
I remember filling out job applications and getting to the same questions every time: “What is your highest level of education?” and “Have you ever been convicted of a crime?”
And I knew I had to answer honestly. I kept thinking, Why would anyone hire me?
I stopped waiting for opportunities to prove my worth and started becoming someone who created value wherever I was. I stopped asking for a chance and started becoming someone worth choosing.
The research is mixed. In a 2009 study in Psychological Science, Joanne Wood and her colleagues found that people with low self-esteem who repeated “I am a lovable person” felt worse afterward, not better. People with high self-esteem got a small boost. Other research on self-affirmation, which focuses on reflecting on your core values rather than repeating praise, has found more consistent benefits.
You cannot talk yourself into believing something your actions keep disproving.
Six things that work better than empty affirmations
Notice the thought
You cannot change a thought you have not caught. Write down what your inner voice says in the moments it shows up.
Challenge it
Ask what evidence supports the thought and what evidence does not. Most harsh self-talk falls apart under questioning.
Replace it with something believable
In my book, the replacement thoughts are simple: “I can figure this out. I don’t need to be perfect to start. I’ve handled hard things before, and I’ll handle this, too.”
Remind yourself what you value
Instead of telling yourself you are amazing, remind yourself what matters to you and why. That steadies you without asking you to believe something you do not.
Take one small action
Do one thing that supports the new thought. Each small action is evidence your inner voice cannot argue with.
Repeat with proof
Over time, keep a short list of things you have handled. Read it when the old voice comes back.
Action comes first.
Belief often follows afterward.
Affirmations vs replacement thoughts
- 1. Affirmation: “I am fearless.” If you do not believe it, your mind argues back.
- 2. Replacement thought: “I can feel nervous and still do this.” It is true, so it sticks.
- 3. Affirmation: “I am a success.” Easy to dismiss on a bad day.
- 4. Replacement thought: “I have handled hard things before.” It points to evidence.
Related reading: How to Stop Negative Self-Talk, Examples of Limiting Beliefs and Confidence Comes After Action.
In the media: US Business News featured my take on why confident people still hear the voice of doubt. They have just learned to answer it. I talked about why self-doubt outranks time and money as the thing in people’s way on 91.5 KIOS-FM, Omaha Public Radio.
Common questions
Do positive affirmations actually work?
They can, but not for everyone. Research suggests that repeating statements you do not believe can backfire for people with low self-esteem.
Why do affirmations make me feel worse?
When the statement feels untrue, your mind argues against it, and the gap between the words and how you feel can grow.
What should I do instead of affirmations?
Replace negative thoughts with believable ones, reflect on what you value and take small actions that support the new thought.
How long does it take to change self-talk?
It varies, but most people notice a difference within a few weeks of catching, challenging and replacing thoughts consistently.
Notice the thought, challenge it, replace it with something you believe and take one action that proves it.
You Are Capable
of More.
Ten principles for becoming the person you know you are capable of being, built from real stories of people who doubted themselves and did it anyway. Winner of the How-To category at the 2026 Paris Book Festival.
When I’ve got something worth sending.
Just a story or an idea I picked up that I think will help you.
Sometimes that’s twice in a month. Sometimes it’s not for a while.