Set Goals You’ll Actually Keep
For anyone who has written the same goal at the top of a fresh page more than once, and would like this to be the year it finally gets finished.
To set goals you will actually keep, choose one goal that truly matters to you, write it down with a date, and shrink the first step until it is small enough to take today. Then tell one person you trust and check in on your progress once a week, adjusting the plan rather than giving up on the goal. Most goals are not lost for lack of ability; they are lost in the quiet space between deciding and doing.
I have watched a lot of good people set a goal with real excitement, carry it for a few weeks, and then let it slip away so gradually that they hardly noticed it leaving. It is rarely a dramatic failure. More often a busy week comes along, then another, and by the time things settle down the goal feels like something from a different season of life. If you want to understand why that keeps happening, I wrote about it in Why You Keep Setting the Same Goal. This page is the practical side of that idea, the part you can sit down and use this afternoon.
When we surveyed more than 200 working adults for my book, the things holding people back came out in a clear order. Self-doubt and the fear of failure came first, being too busy came second, and plain comfort came third. None of those has anything to do with talent, and every one of them can be planned for if you know it is coming. That is really what a good goal is: not a wish written in bigger letters, but a plan that expects the hard weeks and has an answer ready for them.
When someone tells me they want to get in shape but cannot seem to make themselves go, I tell them not to worry about the workout yet. Just drive to the parking lot of the gym. That is the whole goal for the day.
It sounds almost too small to matter, but once you are sitting in that parking lot, walking inside is a much shorter distance than it was from your couch. The first step does not need to be impressive. It needs to be one you will actually take.
A goal does not become real when you decide on it. It becomes real the first time you act on it.
Six steps to set a goal and keep it
Choose one goal
It is tempting to start the year or the month with a whole list of things you are going to change, and I understand why, because every one of them matters to you. But energy is limited, and when it is spread across five goals at once, each one tends to get just enough attention to be started and not quite enough to be finished. Pick the one that would make the biggest difference to your life right now, and let the others wait their turn.
Write it down with a date
A goal that only lives in your head can be renegotiated quietly every single day, usually in favor of doing it later. Writing it down, with a specific date for when it will be finished, turns a hope into a promise you have made to yourself, and promises are much harder to let drift. If you would like a simple place to do that, The Promise was built for exactly this.
Make the first step small
Most goals stall because the first step is really ten steps wearing one name, and our minds can tell the difference even when we pretend otherwise. Keep shrinking that first step until it feels almost too easy, like driving to the parking lot of the gym. Small steps that actually happen will always carry you further than big steps that stay on the list.
Plan for the busy weeks
Being too busy was the second most common barrier in our survey, and it is the one that most quietly ends good goals, because it never feels like quitting. Decide in advance what the smallest acceptable version of your goal looks like on a week when life gets full, perhaps ten minutes instead of an hour, so that a hard week bends your progress rather than breaking it. There is more on keeping a steady rhythm in How to Be Consistent.
Tell one person
I like to describe fear as a ball sitting in a red Solo cup. When the cup is narrow, the ball fills it and seems enormous, but every time you talk to someone about what you are afraid of, the cup gets a little wider, and the same ball suddenly takes up much less room. Telling one person you trust about your goal, and about your doubts, widens the cup. It also means someone else will gently ask how it is going, which is often all the nudge we need.
Check in every week and finish
Pick one time each week to look honestly at where you are, without judging yourself for where you are not. If you have fallen behind, adjust the plan, not the goal, and keep going. Finishing is its own skill, and every goal you see through to the end builds a little more trust in yourself for the next one. That is why I made it one of the principles in the book, and you can read more about it in Finish What You Start.
Finish the small thing,
and the next thing
gets easier.
New Year’s resolutions that stick
There is something lovely about the start of a new year, that feeling of a clean page and a fresh chance, and I would never want to take that away from anyone. The trouble is that most resolutions are made all at once, on the same night, and they tend to be big and a little vague, so when the first ordinary busy week of January arrives, there is no plan waiting for it. If you would like your resolution to last, treat it exactly like the six steps above: one resolution instead of several, written down with a date, a first step you can take on January first, and a weekly check-in instead of a once-a-year judgment. And if February comes and you have slipped, that is not the end of the resolution. It is simply the moment to pick it back up. A 90 day plan can also be a kinder frame than a full year, because it is long enough to change something real and short enough to see the finish line.
Common questions
How do I set goals and actually stick to them?
Choose one goal, write it down with a date, make the first step small enough to take today, and check in on it once a week. Telling one person you trust also helps, because a goal that lives only in your head is very easy to let go of quietly.
Why do most New Year’s resolutions fail?
Most resolutions are big, vague and started all at once on the same day, so when the first busy week arrives there is no plan for it. Resolutions tend to last longer when they are narrowed to one goal, given a small first step, and reviewed weekly instead of judged once a year.
How many goals should I set at once?
For most people, one meaningful goal at a time is enough. Finishing one goal builds the trust in yourself that makes the next one easier, while starting several at once usually spreads your energy too thin to finish any of them.
What should I do when I fall behind on a goal?
Adjust the plan rather than abandoning the goal. Shrink the next step, pick it back up the following day, and remember that falling behind is a normal part of finishing anything worthwhile, not a sign that you cannot do it.
Choose one goal, write it down with a date, take the smallest possible first step today, and check in once a week. Finishing one goal you care about will do more for you than starting ten.
You Are Capable
of More.
Ten principles for becoming the person you know you are capable of being, built from real stories of people who doubted themselves and did it anyway. Winner of the How-To category at the 2026 Paris Book Festival.
When I’ve got something worth sending.
Just a story or an idea I picked up that I think will help you.
Sometimes that’s twice in a month. Sometimes it’s not for a while.