How to Accept a Compliment
For anyone whose first reaction to praise is “Oh, it was nothing.”
To accept a compliment, make eye contact, say “Thank you” and stop there, or add one short line such as “That means a lot.” Do not deflect, downplay it or immediately compliment them back. Brushing off praise feels humble, but it quietly tells the other person they were wrong. Accepting it well is a small act of respect, for them and for yourself.
I have received awards. I have been part of successful companies. I have hit goals that once felt important. Those moments are meaningful, but the feeling does not last very long.
At a company holiday party, an employee’s spouse pulled me aside to thank me. It wasn’t even the employee I worked with. It was their spouse. Her husband was more confident, more engaged and showing up differently, not just at work but at home, too.
It filled my bucket in a way nothing else really can. The right words from the right person can stay with you for years, if you let them land.
Many people struggle to take praise in. Research by Erika Boothby and Vanessa Bohns found that people consistently underestimate how good a compliment will make someone feel, and overestimate how awkward it will be. The same instinct often makes receiving one feel uncomfortable.
A compliment is a gift. Brushing it off hands it back.
Five ways to accept a compliment well
Pause and let it land
Take a breath before you answer. The urge to deflect is fast. A one-second pause gives you room to receive it instead.
Say thank you
“Thank you” is a complete answer. You do not need to explain, justify or add a disclaimer.
Skip the deflection
“It was nothing,” “I got lucky” and “Anyone could have done it” all tell the other person they are wrong. Let them have their view.
Share the credit if it is true
If others helped, say so: “Thank you. The team worked hard on it.” Just say thank you first, so the credit is shared, not deflected.
Keep it in your log
Write down meaningful compliments and notes. On hard days, they are evidence that the doubting voice in your head is not telling the whole story.
The right words from the right person
can stay with you for years.
Why is it so hard to accept a compliment?
Often because it clashes with how we see ourselves. If your inner voice says you are not that good, praise feels like a mistake you need to correct. Accepting compliments is part of retraining that voice, one thank you at a time.
Related reading: How to Stop Negative Self-Talk, How to Be More Grateful and Recognition Ideas People Actually Remember.
Common questions
How do you accept a compliment gracefully?
Make eye contact, say thank you and stop, or add one short line such as “That means a lot.” Avoid deflecting or downplaying it.
Why do I deflect compliments?
Usually because the praise does not match how you see yourself, or because you worry accepting it will seem arrogant. Deflecting feels humble but tells the other person they are wrong.
Is it rude not to accept a compliment?
It can feel dismissive to the person giving it. Saying thank you respects their opinion and the effort it took to say something kind.
Should I compliment someone back right away?
Not automatically. A reflex compliment can feel like you are settling a debt. Say thank you first, and give a genuine compliment later when you mean it.
Pause, say thank you and stop. Let the compliment land instead of handing it back.
You Are Capable
of More.
Ten principles for becoming the person you know you are capable of being, built from real stories of people who doubted themselves and did it anyway. Winner of the How-To category at the 2026 Paris Book Festival.
When I’ve got something worth sending.
Just a story or an idea I picked up that I think will help you.
Sometimes that’s twice in a month. Sometimes it’s not for a while.