High Standards vs Perfectionism
For anyone who has been told they are a perfectionist and is not sure whether that is a compliment.
High standards push you to do excellent work and still let you finish, learn and move on. Perfectionism demands flawless results, so it delays starting, avoids risk and treats every mistake as proof you are not good enough. The test is what happens after a miss: high standards ask what you can learn, while perfectionism asks what is wrong with you.
When I started speaking at conferences, I applied before I felt ready. Most opportunities led nowhere, but eventually one said yes.
Looking back, that first presentation wasn’t very good compared to what I know now. That’s the point. I wasn’t supposed to be great yet. I was supposed to learn.
After that, I studied other speakers, invested in coaching and refined my talks. That is the difference between the two. High standards keep you improving. Perfectionism keeps you from starting.
Perfectionism appears to be rising. A large analysis by Thomas Curran and Andrew Hill, covering decades of data from college students, found that perfectionism increased significantly over time, especially the pressure people feel to meet others’ expectations.
Feelings change. Standards remain.
How to keep high standards without perfectionism
Define what good enough looks like
Decide in advance what a successful version looks like. Without a finish line, perfectionism keeps moving it.
Start before you feel ready
I don’t need to be perfect to start. A rough first version you can improve beats a perfect one that never exists.
Separate effort from outcome
Did you prepare, give your best effort and learn? That is the standard. Outcomes also depend on things you cannot control.
Review mistakes, do not relive them
Reflection asks, what can I learn from this? Reliving asks, why did this happen to me? High standards reflect. Perfectionism relives.
Raise the bar gradually
Standards should stretch you, not break you. Raise them as your experience grows, the same way any skill builds.
I wasn’t supposed to be great yet.
I was supposed to learn.
Signs your standards have become perfectionism
You put off starting until conditions are just right. You redo work no one asked you to redo. One mistake ruins your whole day. You avoid trying new things in case you are not good at them. You feel relief, not satisfaction, when something goes well. If several of those sound familiar, the bar may have turned into a trap.
Related reading: Perfectionism Is Fear in a Better Suit, How to Stop Being So Hard on Yourself and Raise Your Standard.
Common questions
What is the difference between high standards and perfectionism?
High standards push you toward excellent work while letting you finish and learn from mistakes. Perfectionism demands flawless results and treats mistakes as personal failures.
Is perfectionism a good thing?
Not usually. While it can look like high standards, perfectionism often leads to procrastination, avoidance and burnout. Healthy high standards produce better results over time.
How do I stop being a perfectionist?
Define what good enough looks like before you start, begin before you feel ready, judge yourself on effort and learning and review mistakes without dwelling on them.
Is perfectionism increasing?
Research by Thomas Curran and Andrew Hill found perfectionism among college students rose significantly over several decades.
Keep the bar high, but set a finish line, start before you feel ready and ask what you can learn when you miss.
You Are Capable
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Ten principles for becoming the person you know you are capable of being, built from real stories of people who doubted themselves and did it anyway. Winner of the How-To category at the 2026 Paris Book Festival.
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