I Don’t Know Where to Start
For anyone who wants to change something and feels stuck before the first step because there are too many options.
When you do not know where to start, the problem is usually too many options, not too few. Pick one area of your life that matters most right now, choose the smallest step you can see, borrow a path from someone who has already done it and start before you feel certain. Clarity comes from action. You do not need the whole map, only the next turn.
Early in my career, a leader I respected recommended some leadership books to me.
One of the first books was John Maxwell’s The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. One idea from it changed how I saw my life: I was responsible for my world.
Deep down, I believed not finishing college meant I had to earn respect in a different way. I couldn’t rely on a degree, so I became determined to build a reputation through consistency, work ethic and the way I treated people.
From that point on, development was non-negotiable.
Too many options can freeze you. In a well-known study by Sheena Iyengar and Mark Lepper, shoppers who saw 24 kinds of jam were far less likely to buy any than shoppers who saw only six. Narrowing your choices makes it easier to act.
You do not need the whole map. You need the next turn.
Five steps when you do not know where to start
Pick one area
Career, health, relationships, money, learning. Pick the one that would make the biggest difference right now and set the rest aside for later.
Choose the smallest visible step
Read one book, have one conversation, take one class, walk once around the block. A small step you take beats a perfect one you do not.
Borrow a path
Find a person, a book or a program that has already solved what you are facing. You do not have to invent the route.
Start before you feel certain
You learn what you like, what works and what to do next by doing. Waiting for certainty usually means waiting forever.
Review after two weeks
Look at what you learned and decide the next step. Changing direction after you start is progress. Never starting is not.
I was responsible
for my world.
Common places to start
- 1. Pick one book on the area you want to improve and read ten pages a day
- 2. Ask someone you admire for a 20-minute conversation
- 3. Write down one goal and the first action toward it
- 4. Take a free assessment to see where your biggest gap is
- 5. Join a class, team or group already doing what you want to do
- 6. Track one habit for 30 days
Related reading: How to Improve Yourself, How to Do a Life Audit and 12 Common Excuses That Keep Capable People Stuck.
Common questions
What do I do when I don’t know where to start?
Pick one area that matters most, choose the smallest step you can see, learn from someone who has done it and start before you feel certain.
Why do I feel stuck when I have so many options?
Too many choices can make deciding harder. Research by Sheena Iyengar and Mark Lepper found people were less likely to choose at all when given many options.
How do I start improving myself?
Choose one area, one small daily action and one source to learn from. Review after two weeks and adjust.
What if I start in the wrong place?
Starting anywhere teaches you something. Most people find their direction by moving, not by thinking.
Pick one area, take the smallest step you can see and borrow a path from someone who has done it. Clarity comes after you start.
You Are Capable
of More.
Ten principles for becoming the person you know you are capable of being, built from real stories of people who doubted themselves and did it anyway. Winner of the How-To category at the 2026 Paris Book Festival.
When I’ve got something worth sending.
Just a story or an idea I picked up that I think will help you.
Sometimes that’s twice in a month. Sometimes it’s not for a while.